In search for some emotional rest, we (unconsciously) emotionally disconnect from reality. Feelings of regret, failure, grief, disappointment etc., are signs of not being prepared for the loss of our old lives. As we resent those negative feelings, we emotionally disconnect from what we feel, which works as a protection from emotional distress.
Before emotional disconnection, we often experience loss of control over unwanted feelings of grief, loss, hurt etc. When we feel that things are out of control, we feel unsafe. Control gives us the illusion of safety and, naturally, we want to feel safe again, so we start controlling the “outside world”. There are many signs of controlling behaviour and each person presents different “symptoms”. If we always try to keep ourselves busy, or to be surrounded with “friends” all the time, for instance, it could very well mean that we are exhibiting these kinds of behaviour.
However, if we are in a group of friends and we still feel alone, it can be a sign of emotional disconnection. We have entered the dark world of sadness and loneliness. Something is missing. We shut down emotionally. We can no longer deny that feeling of disconnection. It becomes our reality.
Emotional disconnection is a response to new conditions which we have failed to emotionally manage over time. Therapy can help us to lower our emotional helplessness; I would highly recommend seeking out help before it gets too overwhelming.